“Chris, I noticed that you have a page marked ‘Personality Tests’. Why is this?”
— You

Dear quality member of society, you have noticed correctly. This page was inspired by a friend of mine Joshua Villines (http://blog.villines.com), and is intended to give you a better grasp of who I am. As much as I strive to Know Thyself, online personality tests are at least somewhat accurate ways of generalizing the complex emotional and intellectual aspects of such an apparently narcissistic human being. I will update this frequently.

 
 From The Advanced Global Personality Test:  http://similarminds.com/global-adv.html

From The Advanced Global Personality Test: http://similarminds.com/global-adv.html

What I got from The Advanced Global Personality Test: While taking the test, I found it increasingly harder to judge each question, each of which had 7 buttons between Very Inaccurate and Very Accurate (with the middle supposedly being Neutral). I would have to disagree with two things: 1) I am irritated constantly by my brother, peers, strangers, and myself; 2) I do not "appreciate the Pixies," and in fact the one question that dealt with that I marked inaccurate. I agree with the Narcissism (75%), Intellectual (75%), Romantic (72%), Physical Fitness (66%), Paranoia (58%), Histrionic (66%), Religious (16% [Atheist]), Work Ethic (58%) , and Anti-Authority (50%). 

Meyer's Briggs: INFJ

I really really really want to believe the test works, is accurate and precise, etc. But I can't. Not that I don't see myself entirely as an INFJ—I've read all about it out of boredom one 5:26am adventure—which I completely do, but my skepticism about the entire thing and its hidden (pay us $$$) leads me to believe it just misleads and deceives. Alas, the truth. But yeah, I'm an INFJ.

I am an Aries, born April 7-10th I'll never say (just take it for granted as April 10th). Apparently that means I'm combative and stubborn, or something. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm ?


Authentic Happiness Test

Here's my results from the University of Pennsylvania "Authentic Happiness" personality test

 

What's Your Mental Age Based On The Ice Cream Cone You Make Yourself?

https://www.buzzfeed.com/raechilling/build-an-eight-layer-ice-cream-cone-and-it-will-re-2x863

 This quiz is so accurate. First off, I got the waffle cone. Instant red flag—waffle cones afford the most amount of ice cream, so naturally a 10 year old would most likely pick the waffle cone. Then, I picked Vanilla out of these options (Vanilla, Carrot Cake, Cinnamon Bun, Red Velvet.) The mature answer was obviously Red Velvet, although Vanilla was an acceptable answer. I chose  chocolate  for my 2nd layer, because it's my favorite kind of icecream and its delicious. I could've picked Blue Moon or Pumpkin, or even STRAWBERRY CHEESECAKE flavor, but if you disagree with my choice you're objectively wrong. The next layer I picked Strawberry. Not much there. Then. .. . HUGE mistake. Cookie Dough 4th layer—Amateur mistake—this dealt a big blow to my mental age factor, as black raspberry and chocolate almond were also options. No one realistically would pick CREAMSICLE, the fourth option, unless you misclick or you're a sociopath. I picked Mint Chocolate Chip for my 5th layer. That's right folks! 5 LAYERS! This was obviously the best of all options—cotton candy, smores, peach, blegh—and then the worst layer of them all. This is the worst one. 6th layer: Superman flavor. I know what you're thinking: "why not lemon or banana split or chocolate marshmallow?" I have no answers other than my inner child, desperate to be set free, suppressed for years, instantly broke loose and clicked Superman flavor. I do enjoy Superman icecream.  Then cake batter for my 7th flavor. It was a difficult choice, and I really had to think hard here. Do I get the cake batter flavor or the Pineapple flavor? Cake batter is sweet and reminds me of my birthday, while pineapple reminds me of the future I'd like to have and enjoying the sap of life, however sour and exotic. I realized that I really don't want to live an exotic life, if I can live everyday to the fullest loving the people I care most about. Then Pistachio for my 8th layer—my Ap Lit teacher likes that flavor—and I got no toppings. This is probably the most telling and fulfilling personality test and I can say I've personally learned a lot about myself and how I see the world. I look forward to going about my life with a renewed awareness of my inner child and love of many icecream flavors.

This quiz is so accurate. First off, I got the waffle cone. Instant red flag—waffle cones afford the most amount of ice cream, so naturally a 10 year old would most likely pick the waffle cone. Then, I picked Vanilla out of these options (Vanilla, Carrot Cake, Cinnamon Bun, Red Velvet.) The mature answer was obviously Red Velvet, although Vanilla was an acceptable answer. I chose chocolate for my 2nd layer, because it's my favorite kind of icecream and its delicious. I could've picked Blue Moon or Pumpkin, or even STRAWBERRY CHEESECAKE flavor, but if you disagree with my choice you're objectively wrong. The next layer I picked Strawberry. Not much there. Then. .. . HUGE mistake. Cookie Dough 4th layer—Amateur mistake—this dealt a big blow to my mental age factor, as black raspberry and chocolate almond were also options. No one realistically would pick CREAMSICLE, the fourth option, unless you misclick or you're a sociopath. I picked Mint Chocolate Chip for my 5th layer. That's right folks! 5 LAYERS! This was obviously the best of all options—cotton candy, smores, peach, blegh—and then the worst layer of them all. This is the worst one. 6th layer: Superman flavor. I know what you're thinking: "why not lemon or banana split or chocolate marshmallow?" I have no answers other than my inner child, desperate to be set free, suppressed for years, instantly broke loose and clicked Superman flavor. I do enjoy Superman icecream.  Then cake batter for my 7th flavor. It was a difficult choice, and I really had to think hard here. Do I get the cake batter flavor or the Pineapple flavor? Cake batter is sweet and reminds me of my birthday, while pineapple reminds me of the future I'd like to have and enjoying the sap of life, however sour and exotic. I realized that I really don't want to live an exotic life, if I can live everyday to the fullest loving the people I care most about. Then Pistachio for my 8th layer—my Ap Lit teacher likes that flavor—and I got no toppings. This is probably the most telling and fulfilling personality test and I can say I've personally learned a lot about myself and how I see the world. I look forward to going about my life with a renewed awareness of my inner child and love of many icecream flavors.