This website has no other purpose than to display Chris Barclay's apparent lack of writing talent.

The Solution to the American National Debt Problem

The Solution to the American National Debt Problem

A man floats higher and higher into the air, there is a slight breeze and he is floating gently away 30 degrees North-East. A couple of kids are finding the cotangent of the angle, and comparing it with one another, using their radian sundial-like protractors. Two people look up into the sky, one holds a pair of binoculars.

 

            “What do you want me to say? He walked in, asked for a loan, and I gave it to him.”

 

            “It just doesn’t sound like Mr. Sleeb to me. Everyone loved that man. They say he used to give ‘em out for free some days, he was just that happy.”

 

            “Free balloons?”

 

            “Yup. They never told me why he quit. He was the best balloon salesmen I’ve ever seen.”

 

            “Mr. Sleeb was incredible.”

 

            “But so he just walked into my register, gave me that coy old grin and put his hand up like he wanted me to stack the cash into his hand right then right there?”

 

            “Stack those dollars?”

 

            “Dollar dollar bills.”

 

            “Did you transfer the credit to his account?”

 

            “Well, I went to the vault and pulled out a wheelbarrow of cash out and—”

 

            “What?”

 

            “I should’ve known something strange was up then. He didn’t just want his own money, he wanted to take out the biggest loan I’ve ever heard of in my life

 

            “The largest loan?”

 

            “The largest loan.”

 

            “And you searched his house?”

 

            “Yup”

 

            “And you didn’t find the cash.”

 

            “Nope”

 

            “The entire building?”

 

            “Squeaky clean. We didn’t find any of our dollar bills anywhere to be found.”

 

            “This is just classic Mr. Sleeb. 40 years he worked at our circus. 40 years he never spoke. 40 years of friendship and kindness and self-sacrifice and then... And then he pulls something like this.”

 

            “Felo-de-se via. a whole bunch of balloons.”

 

            “If you look into your binoculars there. No. Adjust the thing. Yeah. Do you see he’s still smiling? That same coy old grin?”

 

            “Shit, man.”

 

            “Do you think he planned this all along?”

 

            “I don’t know.”

 

The man floats out of sight. There is a loud POP sound. Millions of bills bills bills drift delicately down from high, high above.

Living without an audience

Living without an audience

London Update and Meta-Documentary Video

London Update and Meta-Documentary Video